The Best Stop in Europe Isn’t a Place

Picture by Caleb Pierce

Last week my husband and I embarked on the adventure of our lives. We decided to pause our lives in the US for a few months to go travel around Europe. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for years and he also loves adventure and traveling so here we are! The first week here was different from what the rest of our travels will be like. We joined a group from the Bear Valley Bible Institute (the school we attended and where we met) that came to support a couple of missionaries working in the Czech Republic (now Czechia). I think this was the best way to start our travels through Europe. We are coming from a little bit of a lonely season, away from family and friends, and I think sometimes we underestimate how much that seclusion can affect our emotional health.

There was a season of my life where I was going to multiple mission trips every summer for consecutive years. Then I went to Bear Valley and I was surrounded by Christians pretty much all the time. It’s easy to take for granted the huge blessing of a constant Christian community, but now that we have been away from that for a while, I can appreciate this so much more. It almost makes me cry to think about it. This week we were close to our Christian brothers and sisters every day. Just to be able to talk, laugh, walk, sightsee, and be with people of the same mind is beyond anything money can buy. Sitting in someone’s garden drinking coffee and just talking and enjoying the weather for hours was a moment of pure joy for me that I will never forget.

My personality is more on the extroverted side, but I’m strongly a type A person. I get energized when I’m around people but I will certainly retreat if I need to get things done. If you are anything like me, you can relate. You love hanging out with people but you won’t enjoy it as much if you know there is a lot you need to get done. For me, this week was like drinking water from a fountain when you are in the middle of the dessert. For the first time in a while I felt like I was present in the moment and it was ok to enjoy everyone’s company without worrying about what I needed to get done. It’s sad to think that I needed to travel all across the ocean to experience this again. 

This week I got a little closer to the girls in our group. I couldn’t tell you what it was that made us click so well, but I can tell you that it felt as if God was saying, –Here you go, my daughter, I’m sending you these friends that you don’t know you need, but you do, and it is ok to laugh at complete nonsense and it’s ok to let loose for a little bit, you’ve been uptight for  too long and that is not how I made you. You are a sunflower and you need a little bit of sunlight right now.

Have you felt like this? Are you in a lonely season right now? Are you feeling secluded, as if the rest of the world has friends and are having so much fun while you are just crawling in a little space like a caterpillar in their cocoon? If you are, the good news is you don’t have to pause your whole life for half a year and go travel the world (although, if you really want to do it, I say go for it!). Let me give you a few recommendations on how to experience God’s joy through lonely seasons. 

1. Remember that lonely seasons are part of the human experience – you are not weird for feeling lonely at times, even Jesus felt this way. When Jesus was getting ready to be sacrificed He felt lonely. He asked His close friends to pray with Him but they could not stay awake with Him (Matthew 26:38-40). And at the cross He asked God why had He abandoned Him. I cannot imagine how lonely our Savior must have felt at that moment (Matthew 27:46). 
2. Go to God – There is no one in the world that knows you and understands you more than your heavenly Father. He knows you better than you know yourself. Talk to God and pour out your heart out to Him. 
3. Find good company – Remember that God created us as social beings. Proverbs 15:33 emphasises the need that we have for each other. In an era where you can pretty much get everything done from the comfort of your home it’s easy to forget that we need the company of others. 
4. Ask God for good friends – Just a few days before we met up with the Bear Valley group in Czechia, I asked God to please send me some friends. I was feeling very lonely. So, those ladies on the mission trip felt like such a literal  and quick  answer to my prayer. God never ceases to amaze me with His love and care. 

Prague is one of the most majestic cities I’ve been to. The first time I visited was during the winter and I felt like I was living in a Hallmark movie! This time we are visiting during the summer and it still has not lost its charm. But even with all that beauty and all the historic sites we visited, my favorite part of the trip was hanging out with friends in our hotel room, playing board games and laughing about things that are not that funny😆. Because ultimately it is about the people that you experience things with and not so much the places that you visit. 

A masterclass in friendship

As I am writing this article I can’t help but think of Jesus and what a great friend he was. I think we can learn so much from Jesus about how to make friends, and how to be good friends. This is no surprise since He is the greatest teacher of all time. 

• He sought out friends – even though Jesus mainly called out men to be His disciples, there is something to be said about Him seeking out friends. The twelve men that he called eventually became His friends, and Jesus was the one to initiate that friendship. There is a Proverb that says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24 NKJV). It can be easy to pity ourselves because we have no friends, but have you stopped to think whether you are the person that others want to be friends with? I’m not saying that you need to be a people-pleaser, but is it a delight to be around you or do people leave your presence feeling drained because of all the negativity and complaining? This can be hard to spot in yourself but maybe ask an honest friend if they see traits in you that make it hard for others to want to be around you. When I think of Jesus and His relationships with others I imagine that people could not get enough of Him. He was attractive, not in a worldly manner, but He was the kind of person that you want to be around. He was honest, yet kind and humble. Let’s follow the example of our master and be the friend that we would want to have. 
• He had a smaller circle of friends – It is true that Jesus sought out friends, but He also had a smaller circle of “friends within friends”. The apostles John, Peter and James were often singled out by Jesus to accompany Him. This might seem like showing partiality but actually there is wisdom in this. It is impossible to be friends with everyone. I have a personal experience with this. When I used to go on those mission trips every summer, being the outgoing person I am, I wanted to get to know everyone on the trip. My goal was to talk at least once with every single person in the whole group. Bear in mind, these were sometimes groups of 50+ people. There was no way I could get close to anyone if I tried to be friends with everyone on the trip. And this is exactly what happened. I would leave the campaigns feeling socially drained because I had tried to be friends with everyone but I had not really developed a friendship with anyone. We should be friendly with everyone but not everyone needs to be our close friend. So, take the example of our great Master and have a close group of friends that you develop meaningful relationships with. Friends who you sharpen each other for the glory of God. 
• He cared deeply for His friends – This could be a whole article by itself, Jesus loved His friends so much that He literally gave His life for them, for us. There is no greater love than that (John 15:13). In the predominantly individualistic society that we live in, strong friendships where someone gives up anything for their friends are hard to find. It feels like we are willing to be friends until it costs us something. I mourn the friends that I have lost because of moving so many times. But I’m also aware that I could have invested more in my friendships and I need to do better. The example that I see from my Savior is that of selfless sacrifice, and deep almost incomprehensible love. That is the example I want to follow. I want to be a friend like Jesus! 

There is so much I have said here, but I want to leave you with this. If you are feeling lonely right now, I feel you. I think we are living in one of the loneliest times in history. People are sharing everything and yet not sharing anything. Remember this: You are never alone! You have a friend that loves you so deeply, so relentlessly that He gave His life for you and there is NO GREATER love than this. If you have bought into the lie that you don’t need anyone and you are completely self-sufficient, but you can feel that hole in your heart, seek God and you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Seek that friend that will never leave you. And also seek good Christian friends that you can develop a strong relationship with. Where you can encourage each other and build each other up. This is a treasure that no riches or fame in this world can buy.

If you would like to connect with me or need some prayers just drop a comment below or send me an email. May God bless you with good friends!

Picture by Caleb Pierce.