Disappointment has a way of slipping into our lives quietly, doesn’t it. You wait and hope and plan, only to watch something you longed for fall flat or fall apart. Maybe you saved for months to take a trip that never happened. Maybe the life you’re living looks nothing like the one you pictured years ago. You might be stuck in a job that drains you or in a place that doesn’t feel like home. Whatever the details, we all know the sting of unmet expectations. Let’s rewind to just a few years ago, when the world was turned upside down by a global pandemic. Overnight, plans were canceled, trips postponed, concerts silenced, and jobs disrupted. Life itself felt like it was placed on pause. None of us saw it coming, and yet we all felt the weight of it. Disappointment touched every corner of our lives, and being a Christian didn’t make us immune to that ache. In fact, it reminds me of another woman who knew disappointment well—Naomi from the book of Ruth.
Naomi was an Israeli woman living during the judges’s time. She, her husband, and two sons left Bethlehem during a famine in the land. They moved to Moab and stayed there for a while. We can imagine that Naomi and her family were hopeful about their future in Moab. At the least, they would have food and jobs to sustain themselves. Things, however, didn’t turn out the way they expected. They left Bethlehem only to find death, sadness, and loss in Moab. In Naomi’s words “I went out full, but the LORD has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:21 NASB1995). She was so disappointed in God that she asked people not to call her Naomi (“sweetness”) anymore, but Mara (“bitter”).
Looking back at Naomi’s story it is understandable for her to have become disappointed. What are some things that we can learn from this account that could have helped her, and most importantly, help us today to overcome disappointment in life? I want to give you a three-step formula. First, set the right expectations. Disappointment is defined as sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations (Oxford Languages). If we go through life expecting that everything will be perfect, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Keep in mind that God warned us that in this life we would have trials (John 16:33). So, expect things not to go the way you planned or expected and that it is part of life’s journey.
Second, trust in God. The book of Psalms has an abundance of verses about trusting in the Lord. One of them goes on to say that those who trusted in God were not disappointed (Psa. 22:5). In this life people will disappoint us, intentionally or unintentionally, because we are imperfect, but if there is anyone in whom we can trust with our whole heart it is God. Going back to Naomi, at the end of her story we see that God had not abandoned her like she had thought. He gave her a redeemer who would be to her “a restorer of life and a sustainer of her old age” (Ruth 4:15a). Moreover, God gave Naomi a daughter-in-law who “loved her and was better to her than seven sons” (Ruth 4:15b). God did not disappoint Naomi, and He won’t disappoint us if we keep our trust in Him.
Third, keep the end in mind. Compared to eternity, this life is short, and when we keep our eyes on the goal, which is to get to heaven, everything else will seem so small in comparison. I have a personal rule, which is “don’t set expectations.” This might sound a little negative, but what I mean is that whenever I go to a place I’ve never been to, or am about to experience something new, I do my best not to set any expectations. No good, no bad. My reasoning behind this is that by not setting any expectations I will prevent disappointment. If I hear that this place or thing is “so cool”, I will set my expectations high and ultimately, I end up disappointed when expectations are not met. So, whenever my husband and I go to a place that he has been before and thinks that I will enjoy, he just says, “This is not that great of a place,” or “This is ok… nothing out of this world.” And then I am amazed! No matter how many disappointments we experience in life there is something that ought to give all Christians peace and assurance. Heaven. No matter what picture you might have of heaven, I promise you, it will not be disappointing. Heaven is going to be better than anything you have ever experienced or imagined. Revelation states that this will be a new city in which God dwells among us! Just being in God’s presence sounds amazing but the Bible goes on to say that there will be no tears, death, mourning, or pain (Rev. 21:1-4). Heaven will be a city with God that has none of the negative things that we experience on Earth. It will exceed all the expectations you might have. Let that thought sink in. Heaven will be the most “disappointment-free” place you have ever been to or experienced. That’s a place where I want to be!
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I feel this rn.
Thank you for sharing Jenna. Disappointment is something hard to go through. Praying for you right now!